What is a hobby anyway?

I flitter around from one passion to another like a leaf fallen from a tree.

One moment I fantasize about learning to kayak and paddling the great waterways of the US and the world. The next day I swear I'll pull out my guitar, have it re-strung, and really learn it this time. Next thing you know I'm scouring knitting websites for patterns, knitting bags and trinkets. I love to hike, I love to read, I love to spend time with my dogs.

But when the day is done, I barely have energy to cook dinner and then I'm crashed on the couch by 9:30 in front of Hannity and Colmes.

I walk my dogs at least 2 miles every morning but it's too hot to walk or throw the ball in the evening - still in the 90's until after 8:00. Playing guitar causes painful blisters then calluses that discourage me from practicing. I've never had a lesson in proper knitting so my hands get cramped and tired. I have a business plan 3/4 finished but lack the funds (save my father's gracious seed money) to make it a reality and with the looming threat of motherhood I'm afraid I'll never make my business dreams reality. I need to get to the gym and I need to return to my yoga practice.

I thought when we moved to a new home life would settle out and I'd have a better idea of my schedule and my daily responsibilities. Yet I feel like every other day I'm stopping at the grocery store for something and sitting in traffic and being exhausted at 6:30, neglecting my dogs and cats. I'm frustrated that I sit at work all day with only 1-2 hours of actual work every 2-3 days - I feel like I'm wasting my life away in front of this computer. I believe I'm becoming dumber. Even if I am getting paid I feel like I'm doing myself a disservice.

Should I bring a book to work? What about a knitting project of some scrapbooking? I could work on the business plan.

I will bring a book tomorrow and I will not scan the web for meaningless drivel. Today is the first day of a new outlook on this job. I'm here to work when there is work to be done. I will be here for only a short while (less than 2 years) and then my life's responsibilities will change drastically. Perhaps I should prepare for that today instead of wasting all these hours. I never would have thought I would feel this way about a job that pays more than twice what I made last year and the year before - Combined. But this too shall pass.